Iran.. more aptly.... I ran.... I really hate running now. I hate it, when I start the slow jogging.. and I hate it when the pace seems to quicken by itself.. I hate the feeling that legs pounding the tarmac.. I hate it, absolutely loathe it, it irks me... I want to stop running and just go home...
this evening, it was slightly different.. we were late for ballet class, 15 mins late.. and I knew I have to complete my run in less than 40 mins. Perhaps that would help me put some life into those dead steps of mine...
Not having enough time to do my usual stretching left me wondering if I will actually cramp up... I was apprehensive, therefore, I was delibrate in my slow jog. I watched the foot pod anxiously, not wanted to go overly fast and thus destroy the chance of completing this run....
Its been several months now. And I have not been able to get back to the times when I could actually love or like running... I remember.. not too long again, completely this route was not a problem.. yet today, strong as I was.. I still surrendered to the gradient of the slope. I just could not plod on... it was too exhausting.. too hard... I wanted and I did.. gave up.... it's just so darn hard! The slope gets steeper, the feet gets heavier, the knees protest, the heart screams and pounds like mad.. the mind gets muddled and age catches up and wraps its tentacles so tightly around your will.. that I slow down to a trot.. and then to a walk... a stroll... body agrees with that... body likes that and begs the mind to continue strolling like that...
Like a drill sergent, sneaking from behind on unwary trainee soldiers, the mind send turbo messages to the legs... it fires for a while.. but the stroll was just so much more comfortable.. less lift threatening... and I strolled again....
I hate running.. someone suggested golf... HAH! I was the club's champion... and I have a gold medallion to prove that.. and golf is not much easier.. may be easier on the legs.. but definitely not on the mind, if you were golf with those wolves and vultures that I used to golf with... enuff said... I just couldnt understand why i am still doing this... I am sad.. that the passion for running has died... I really really cannot go on...
I tell myself.. that this year.. will be my last year for wanting to run... as I am spending more and more of my time riding.... and I love riding.. riding doesnt hurt me like running does... yet... I will try only 2 events this year then....
The Army half marathon and the Stand Chart half marathon... and after that... I will retire.. truly retire...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment